In the UK, the BHA limits horse racing names to 18 characters. It’s partly to stop things getting out of hand, and also to give race commentators a fighting chance of pronouncing them correctly.
However, this hasn’t stopped owners getting creative.
While every name has to be approved by the sport’s regulators, a fair few funny horse racing names – and occasionally cheeky – ones have still managed to slip through the net.
Horse racing expert Andy Newton ranks his TOP 10 FUNNY RACEHORSE NAMES that have made it to the track over the years.
The Best Funny Racehorse Names EVER (Top 10 Ranked) 🤣🏇
1. WEIGH ANCHOR
At first glance, this one might seem perfectly innocent.
But say it quickly… and then say it again a couple of times. You’ll soon get the idea – with the ‘anchor’ dropping!
Remarkably, this name has actually been approved twice in recent years.
The first came back in 1991, and the second arrived in 2020 with a filly trained by former Grand National-winning handler Donald McCain.
Weigh Anchor Horse Name
2. MARY HINGE
Credit to the owners of this horse, who just switched the first two letters of each word to sneak this one past the BHA powers that be.
It’s another name that’s been approved twice, too.
The first version appeared in 1991, when Julie Cecil — wife of the legendary Sir Henry Cecil — trained the mare. She won five of her 11 starts between 1993 and 1994.
Her biggest success came in the Listed Sandy Lane Stakes at Haydock in 1994, a race that still features on the Lancashire track’s calendar today.
All of her races were ridden by jockey Paul Eddery, brother of former champion jockey Pat Eddery.
The name “Mary Hinge” also managed to go under the radar in South Africa in 2007.
3. BIG TITS
Yes, you’re probably wondering how the hell did horse racing officials let this one through.
The explanation?
The horse was French-bred, and somehow the name was allowed to pass the regulators there. Why exactly… is anyone’s guess.
This Lost World mare, trained by Elie Lellouche, ran three times in 2003 before retiring. Unfortunately, she never managed to win a race.
I wonder if she was being weighed down.
Big Tits Race Horse Name
4. PASSING WIND
This New Zealand-bred runner raced in the UK for former Grand National-winning jockey Richard Guest.
Passing Wind raced exclusively over jumps, running 19 times in total and winning twice — with victories coming at Bangor and Fakenham.
With his name, you had to feel for the horses running behind him!
5. GEESPOT
Another name you might expect to have been stopped, but this one possibly benefited from a clever connection to her breeding.
Her sire was called “Pursuit Of Love”, while her dam was named “My Discovery”. Put the pieces together and… well, you get the picture.
Trained by Dominic Ffrench Davis, she raced 33 times in the UK between 2001 and 2004, but winning just twice.
Perhaps she just got a little too excited during her races.
6. THE WIFE DOESN’T KNOW & MY WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING
Only in the US, right?
Back in 2010 at the US track Monmouth, the race caller had an absolute field day when two horses lined up in the same race called The Wife Doesn’t Know and My Wife Knows Everything.
As fate would have it, the pair also battled it out at the finish — producing a truly unforgettable piece of horse racing commentary.
You can hear if for yourself below.
7. TWO IN THE PINK
I’m not going to explain this one.
Either you know… or you don’t know – wink, wink!
And if you don’t, you might want to hide behind the back of the sofa before typing it into Google.
Fortunately for the owners, the BHA officials didn’t spot the meaning either.
Which allowed this Ralph J Smith-trained runner to race 46 times — much to the commentators’ delight.
She won three of those races between 2012 and 2017, with most of her appearances coming on the UK’s All-Weather tracks.
8. AARRRRR
A classic — not just for the name, but for the enthusiasm shown by the US commentator calling this one home at Saratoga back in 2008.
The horse, which may well have had pirate-loving owners, ran 33 times between 2007 and 2010.
Aarrrrr won three races and was trained by Michael W. Salaggio Jr.
9. HOOF HEARTED
Another piece of commentary gold here — and one that really has to be heard to be fully appreciated.
This cleverly named American horse ran 65 times during the 1980s for trainer George Cummins, winning nine races and earning $40,345 in prize money.
More recently, another horse with the same name appeared in South Africa, running 10 times between 2003 and 2004.
Unfortunately, he never managed to “blow off” in the winners’ enclosure.
Or, in fact, race with Passing Wind – as that would have been a classic bit of commentary.
10. ONE OFF THE RAIL
Finally, older racing fans might remember this one from the 1990s.
Trained by Gary Moore — who is dad to top jockey Ryan Moore — the horse was named by Ken Higson specifically to confuse listeners and horse racing commentators.
In total, he ran 52 times and won 10 races – winning £39,033 in career prize money.
He was often seen on the All-Weather tracks such as Lingfield, where he won eight times.
One Off The Rail – Funny Horse Racing Name
The Funny Racehorse Names That Got Rejected ⛔🏇
Of course, for every funny racehorse names that slips through the net, there are plenty that the authorities do manage to catch.
Here’s just a small selection of names that were rejected by racing officials around the world.
Funny Racehorse Names That Were Rejected
- WILLY FISTERBOTTOM
- ARFUR FOULKESAYCKE
- IVOR BIGUN
- BEN TIMOVER
- NEIL ANBLOMEE
- OIL BEEF HOOKED
- ANITA HANJAAB
- DAN GLEEBALLS
